It’s okay, really. We don’t judge here…okay, we totally do.

3 Feb

Dear Kristen Stewart,

What’s the deal K-Stew? I thought we were friends, not like you know the hang out and look moody together kind, being awesome leaves no time for joy or laughter, am I right or am I right Special K? But you know, the kind of friends were you bump into each other in the street and you do that awkward head nod where it’s like “I acknowledge your presence, but this greeting will go no further.” But seriously all I ever hear is Twilight. That movie came out months ago now, but still the Twihards persist, I mean come on, I’ve seen that movie…nothing really persist-worthy there. You had shirtless boys true, but I’m pretty sure a couple have love handles? It’s Hollywood! There’s no love handles in Hollywood! Hollywood is a magical land filled with abs and various other surfaces being steel like in nature, words like “cellulite” and “carbs” do not exist in such a wonderful land. But other than that I’m not really sure I remember anything else? Now don’t get me wrong, I haven’t seen all your movies, and as Twilight(s) were the most recent, I’m only counting them – I can be a good sport too. Maybe it’s just me being cranky because I had to skip my nap time to see this movie at the time but, uh…boy, this is awkward. It’s just, K to the Stew, followed by the Art, it seemed like you weren’t feeling 100%. I being the good, awkward nodding friend that I am, pondered on what it could be, I pondered and I pondered. I pondered till the word ‘pondered’ seemed quite funny. Get it? Pondered! It STILL makes me laugh. Eventually, after being escorted by security back to my chair from rolling down the aisles in laughter, it struck me. You’re out a lot, skipping meals, eating on the go. It’s understandable, really, so don’t be embarrassed. Just take this and thank me later.

Much love,

Mademoiselle Beckerella.

P.S. I’m quite content with our awkwardnodthenwalkawayquickly thing we have going on. So please, just stop that weird wave thing. Okay, great.


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