It’ll affect you and everyone you know…

4 Feb

As you may or may not know, here at the blog we focus on the important issues, from constipated celebrities to shoulder pads – the growth on your shoulder you need to remove right now. But today, I’d like to discuss something that affects not just you – but everyone around you.

Toe cleavage.

As I was walking around today in my faux snake skin ballet flats, fantastically trashy chic FYI, it occurred to me that toe cleavage is fast becoming an epidemic. Okay, nothing near as bad as Hammer Time Harem Pants, (Can’t Touch This has never been so apt) which is to fashion what Bird Flu was to Seasame Street, yes that’s totally a Big Bird reference, suave no?

So what is toe cleavage? Let’s see what has to say on the matter, shall we?

“The fleshy sections between and around the toes which can be squeezed together to form cleavage when wearing low-cut or strappy type (infact any kind of toe exposure) shoes or heels”

Now interwebers, I don’t mind a little toe cleavage. Little being the key word in that sentence. In a corporate environment I think under no circumstance should toe cleavage be seen. My personal take on it is to treat it like the other type of cleavage. In a casual environment, sure, a small amount (1-2mm) is perfectly acceptable but any more than that it’s like “Honey, just put on some sandals. Mmkay? You’re just defeating the purpose of those shoes.”. And I don’t like defeating my shoes, my shoes are the heroes in my wardrobe, without them who knows what kind of villian could sweep in and take over. My shoes are my friends, sometimes they come to life and we drink margaritas and watch The O.C. (Seth V. Ryan – my shoes are forever loyal to Seth, I think it’s the white boy ‘fro) and we debate why Marissa was considered likable for so long? This still, to this date perplexes me.

So ladies, please I implore you, even if that one little piggy does want to go to market, think long and hard about the cleave’ you’ll weave.


One Response to “It’ll affect you and everyone you know…”

  1. Ella March 8, 2010 at 2:27 pm #

    Toe cleavage and harem pants are both just wrong!

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